Saturday: Own Your Future

The Buzz – Off the wall inspirational. After yesterday’s “Stand Up for Your Sister,” we are in community and fired up to goal plan! Friend, you would have been awed yesterday during the Stand-Up activity. To see thousands of women, stand up again and again to represent their sister’s trauma is a testament to our resilience. One of the items on the list was “I considered suicide.” Not only did these women live through those isolating fears, but they signed up for a women’s empowerment conference. Their existence is inspiring, but especially in the context of this conference.

Dave and Rachel announced Hollis Co. related updates. They shared:

  1. 2020 RISE dates and cities!
  2. Marie Forleo has been added to the RISE Business lineup!
  3. They are creating a RISE app!
  4. There will be a Last 90 Days Start Today Journal with a “five to thrive” tracker

To quote Mr. Hollis, “Let’s Gooooooo!”

The 411 – Rach spoke in the morning and the afternoon again, and her husband Dave filled the guest speaker role to start the day. DAVE HOLLIS BROUGHT THE FIRE. His hourlong talk was worth my admissions ticket. If you aren’t familiar with their relationship, they often share that Rachel is the “dreamer,” and Davis the pragmatic, practical one.

In this room at the conference, it was easy to get excited and proclaim our goals, but as Dave cautioned, when we go home, we will likely encounter resistance to our new-found ambition. Does that resonate with you? Do you have someone in your life who you are reluctant to share ideas with for fear of their reaction? Enter Dave. He said anytime Rachel would share a new idea, he would list all the reasons why it wouldn’t work because, as he put it, his job was to protect her, and he was trying to shield her from being disappointment.

Similarly, he said when you return to your established relationships and routines, there will be someone at home whom you crave love from, who will feel uncomfortable with your confidence and sense of power. That person might resist you needing to go to bed earlier, work for three hours on Saturday, or if you need to skip Aunt Sheila’s birthday party. Get ready for this: Dave shared that that person will use the power of their love over you to persuade you to revert to the status quo of the relationship, whatever that might be for you.

Powerful, isn’t it? That person might be your mom, sister, significant other, a friend, etc. We all have someone in our life who might feel threatened by our growth because where does that leave them? We know to expect pushback from certain people. The question is, will be confident enough to withstand their discomfort? Or will we sacrifice our happiness to appease them and revert to how things always were?

After lunch, Rach moderated a panel with four successful entrepreneurs, Charis Jones (Owner of Sassy Jones), Joy Cho (Founder & Creative Director of Oh Joy!), and Jamie Kern Lima (Co-Founder & CEO of IT Cosmetics). The women spoke candidly about trying to find balance, how much personal help they have, and how they navigate mommy guilt. There refreshing honesty resonated with many attendees.

Check out my Instagram post from Friday (Followyourspark) for a copy of the complete schedule.

Highlights – The letter from our persistence! When we daydream about new goals, we often stop ourselves from pursuing them because of how hard they will be to accomplish them. We let our fears, doubts, and insecurities get in our way before we even give ourselves a chance. Rach wanted to remind us that we already are persistent, but that we don’t give ourselves enough credit for previous accomplishments. She gave us time to write a letter from our persistence to ourselves to remind us that our persistence has always been there, even when we forget or don’t give it credit. It went like this:

Dear ________,

I am your persistence. I am the part of you that never gave up and this is what I want you to know: (And then you write about whatever your persistence helped you accomplish thus far).

At the bottom of the letter is written From here on out I promise to: (And then you write a paragraph about your commitment). Sincerely, Your Persistence

This activity was powerful because writing out the experiences is a visual reminder of accomplishments we might have forgotten or dismissed. Plus, by writing the details versus typing them into our phones, it forces our brain to slow down and reflect on what we are writing. By completing this exercise, I understood that my persistence is always there, but I haven’t always used it to its full potential. Creating this letter inspires me to value my persistence and use it more.

Another highlight was the activity “Turn your 10 Years into 10 Dreams” from our workbook. In Rachel’s “Start Today Journal,” we are supposed to write ten dreams as if they had already happened. This activity today was similar but doing it with her guidance helped us reach for higher goals. Before we began the activity, she explained that we shouldn’t write down anything that we are already working on; we should think bigger. Halfway through the list, she encouraged us to think even bigger than that and to put some “oh crap” goals on the list: goals so audacious that make you think “oh crap” to yourself.

This is the first time I allowed myself to envision anything so big. My dream is to become a full-time writer, but this helped me envision even more; I also want to pursue podcasting and develop e-courses. Plus, I brainstormed about my first product and will begin beta testing it with a closed Facebook group in August! Completing this activity helped me develop my own “oh crap” goals.

Takeaways – It’s clear that helping people define their goals and creating a plan of action are Rachel’s passion. The biggest takeaway from “Own Your Future” was the roadmap activity in which she explained how to pursue your goals. There is no point in having a goal if you don’t know what the next step is. Rachel explained “idea soup,” which is her version of brainstorming. When you have a goal in mind, she encourages you to write down everything you can think of that could help you reach it. Then, you reflect on them and choose three items that will help you the most. Those three aspects become mile markers on your roadmap to pursuing goals. Girl Stop Apologizing reviews this in details.

[If you aren’t sure what you are interested in or how to pursue it, I created a FREE guide called “How to Follow Your Spark,” which you can receive on my website. I provide three activities that will help you figure out what your spark is and then how to create a plan to follow it. I include my own examples as details.]

Dance Party – This is the only part of the weekend that I was disappointed with. My sister-in-law, Nina, and I had signed up to participate in a secret flash mob to the song “Come Alive” from The Greatest Showman Soundtrack. Unfortunately, the lines were so long outside the venue, that we missed Dave and Rach’s toast AND the flash mob. I was crushed.

The extent of my dancing skills is shaking it to Zumba in the comfort of my home. With the curtains closed. So, for me to sign up for a flash mob and to commit to performing choreographed steps in front of Dave and Rachel, whom I tremendously respect, not to mention a thousand other women, well, it was a huge step for me. No pun intended.

Plus, Rachel has been a role model for me during the last year; reading Girl Wash Your Face encouraged me to write again, and I greatly admire her tenacity and devotion to her children. To not hear her toast and see her face after the flash mob was disappointing, and it colored the night for me.

After a good night’s sleep, I woke with gratitude for RISE. I was initially disappointed by the dance party experience, but I understand sometimes things happen that are beyond our control, and I chose to be grateful for the other parts instead. I know that not everyone who wanted to attend was able to secure tickets and some were unable to afford the event, so I am deeply appreciative that I was.

Hollis-isms: I kept track of how many times classics were referenced for diehard Rach fans.

                  Pam – 5

                  “Let’s Goooooo!” – 9

Up next: My weekly Tuesday article!

Did today’s topic resonate? What worries you most about pursuing your goals? What is your biggest, most audacious dream? Comment below! 

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